Understanding emerges from observing  the details:  the moment to moment emotional states, the unique choices, interests, and responses of another.  Attunement is being authentically curious without judgment, receptive without interfering; it is seeing, listening, and empathizing while observing the behaviour and emotions of the other as real and credible and reflective of the mysterious inner world of another in that moment.  Attunement is radical non-interference:  it allows the other its unique and ultimately unknowable experience with the only agenda being to 'see' the other in this moment, knowing that the pursuit of understanding is paramount and will never be complete; it involves being emotionally available and vulnerable to the impacts of the other where despite a profound desire to influence, there is not over-taking, for the respect of the separateness and the agency of the other is attunement.